about lost.

i am not gonna write it beautifully, never will.

i have never felt lost so deep like those days, ever.
i have never felt so empty like those days, ever.

but... have i ever thought of this: maybe this is the best condition, the best possible outcome there ever was, and it has to be like this to teach each party about lost, about tolerance, about how we always had to set our standard bar so low that the other party would love to step on you every sometime whatever necessary. 

guess what, i am done doing that. i am done doing whatever the society tells me to do. i have so much tolerance and it began to decreasing to the point i don't even care if i don't have anyone in this world to share my thoughts at, i don't care if even no one would know if i am about to die in that room all alone, i don't.

boundaries. what is that?
how do one set one?
how?
should u tell the other party?
or silently having them on your thoughts until it squeeze out and you got nothing left and you just, left.

left. why so easy for one to leave?
why would you love ghosting a living person?
did you love it?

how can you live with it, me?
why you do that, me?

sincerely,
me.