Little Cat In The City

i am not gonna write it beautifully, never will. i have never felt lost so deep like those days, ever. i have never felt so empty like those days, ever. but... have i ever thought of this: maybe this is the best condition , the best possible outcome there ever was, and it has to be like this to teach each party about lost, about tolerance, about how we always had to set our standard bar so low that the other party would love to step on you every sometime whatever necessary.  guess what, i am done doing that. i am done doing whatever the society tells me to do. i have so much tolerance and it began to decreasing to the point i don't even care if i don't have anyone in this world to share my thoughts at, i don't care if even no one would know if i am about to die in that room all alone, i don't. boundaries. what is that? how do one set one? how? should u tell the other party? or silently having them on your thoughts until it squeeze out and you got nothin

this is a short dream and i dont even think its as weird as the rest of my weirdass dream but here we go so in this universe of my weirdass dream, i think i have lost a loved one. in this world, i live with my partner ( i dont recall is it my boyfriend or my husband, either way doesnt matter), the dream starts at me crying so hysterical, a massive amount of tears falling down my face ( ok thats too much and cringey ) and i turns to my hand, receiving a package that i already open and inside of it there are my partner's belonging and there are some blood, and still i cried, the sadness and lost feeling was real (i never felt this kind of sadness, this one tore my heart till i woke up - the last time i lost someone (to death) was my grandma and i didnt shed tears, almost at all) as someone who sends the package goes away, ive been left in the dark all by myself. itshould be the police to call me but theres nothing, the police didnt call me idk whats that mean but i aware of that some

ok so it was a 20 minutes quick nap and  i dreamed about myself, waking up in my not usual room (but in this universe it was my home) i open up my laptop but then the laptop was broken so i cant open it. fine. so i was going to turn on the lamp and i  c a n ' t. i i cant turn it on! it was noon i believe, but its dark there, like dim dark not pitch black or so, there are 2 beds in my room with full of stuff - why? idk) so i asked my mom why the lamp wont be on and she said we cant do that. oh and i remember i am trying so hard to wake up because i did realize it was a dream. so i tell my mom about it and my mom just like, i dont know. im so desperate to turn the lamp on because i well i i want to fix my broken laptop. i didnt give a damn whether it was dream or reality, i dont want my laptop broke so i want to fix it. the parts are there somewhere in the room but fuck its dark. worse dream ever because i hate darkness. and then i woke up in another dream, my room, lamps are on, hm

part one. i had a dream, in this universe of dream; my grandmother is kind of mob or a gang of criminals, which inthis case, the member were all boys. in hthat particular dream, i was running away from her, with my friend too. and then the scheme was at a train, stopped at a train station. so we jumped out of train, (possibly still being chased by my grandmother gang) and we seek help to the train station employees. but they wont help! how absurd! in fact, they were all my grandmas bois. hoooowwwwww fucccckkkeddd up and then we ran, but everyone literally my grndma bois so we are trapped. that was when we on the outside of the train station and there was wall like dead end and theres a well as well (pardon the pun) and theres 3 guys of my grndma there, the 2 of em start rapin my friend, and i am powerless as to watch it, i scream and there was a broom i snatched it and hit the one who rpd my friend, literally do nothing as the bois still ganged my friend up, and i being hold back w